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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444792">The Luxury Of This Haunting Dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkisMusicBox/pseuds/AkisMusicBox'>AkisMusicBox</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet, Blood and Injury, During a Battle, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gronder Field, I Made Myself Cry, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Tranquilizers, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:14:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkisMusicBox/pseuds/AkisMusicBox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>To call this the worst class reunion ever would be a gross understatement.</p>
  <p>To call Gronder Field a cemetery in waiting would be close. Steel and screams rang in the air, punctured by the roar of a wyvern from time to time to remind all that terror reigned from above, as well.</p>
  <p>And to call the man standing before him the undead leader of a ghost army would be even more appropriate but not exact. The man before him wore the shell of a person he once called a friend.</p>
  <p>"You will stand aside, Claude, or you will stand no more," Dimitri called rabidly, sweat-soaked hair clinging to his mud and blood-spattered face. Areadbhar pointed at him with sinister intent.</p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Luxury Of This Haunting Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I question the wisdom of releasing something not in scope of Claudeleth week during Claudeleth week... but I also didn't want to release this on Claude's (and my) birthday sooooo I'm choosing the lesser of two evils. *shrugs*</p>
<p>Pandemic has me needing to strike while the iron is lukewarm because at least that's some heat. Fair warning, this is a sad one of the tags didn't make that obvious.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To call this the worst class reunion ever would be a gross understatement.</p>
<p>To call Gronder Field a cemetery in waiting would be close. Steel and screams rang in the air, punctured by the roar of a wyvern from time to time to remind all that terror reigned from above, as well.</p>
<p>And to call the man standing before him the undead leader of a ghost army would be even more appropriate but not exact. The man before him wore the shell of a person he once called a friend.</p>
<p>"You will stand aside, Claude, or you will stand no more," Dimitri called rabidly, sweat-soaked hair clinging to his mud and blood-spattered face. Areadbhar pointed at him with sinister intent.</p>
<p>Claude reached for the sword Sword of Begalta. Byleth put a hand on his arm and stepped forward. "My friend," Claude said to her, throat as tight as a bowstring. "This is just a squabble between classmates. No need to interfere."</p>
<p>She put a hand on the back of his neck and turned him to face her. "Discipline is a professor's duty," she said as she tugged at his collar. "Even after graduation, if the lesson was taught incorrectly, it is mine to correct." Her voice came out with a sinister tone as well, one Claude hadn't thought he'd ever heard. She could make it easy to forget the goddess was reborn inside of a mercenary. She released him and found her sword belt. "Hilda, Raphael, and Leonie are keeping Dedue at bay. Recall Marianne and Felix, mounted." She unsheathed The Sword of the Creator "Do not let anyone interfere." Claude clenched a fist but nodded.</p>
<p>"You're the one interfering, <em>Professor!</em>" Dimitri growled. "You made your choice a long time ago. On the very <em>day we met."</em></p>
<p>She nodded solemnly. "I chose to take responsibility for my students." The sword almost hummed in her hands. "Claude!"</p>
<p>Claude tore himself away and went to his wyvern. He struck the beast a pale blue and black flag in it's mouth. It waved it overhead.</p>
<p>"You chose poorly!" Dimitri roared and charged at her. Standing her ground, she leveled her sword and charged as well. The clash rattled Claude's bones even from that distance as the holy weapons connected. Dimitri's grunts grew in ferocity as Byleth parried every strike. <em>She's not advancing. She wants to tire him out.</em></p>
<p>But Dimitri raged in the face of the idea of wasting his effort. <em> But does she have enough left in her to face that? Will he wear her down first? </em> When Claude saw the two mounted figures in the distance, he retrieved the flag. Then, he grabbed Failnaught and scanned the surroundings. Beyond, he watched Dedue deflect a lance from Leonie and follow it up with a strike toward Raphael, which Raphael barely managed to dodge. He then turned his arrow to the skirmish before him.</p>
<p>Byleth had yet to give ground, but her coat was already torn from strikes that were too close for comfort. She was closing the gap, however, to nullify the reach of the wicked lance. Her precise footwork let her drive in close enough to plant the hilt of her sword in his chest and shove him back, causing Dimitri to stumble. He recovered quickly and thrust the lance forward, tearing the thin fabric that pretended to protect her ribs. The line of the lance traced blood in the air.</p>
<p>Claude nearly loosed an arrow right then, but he gritted his teeth instead and watched. "What are you doing, Claude?!" Felix growled as he reigned his horse to an abrupt stop beside him. "Put the wild animal down!"</p>
<p>Marianne stopped next to him. "Goddess, protect her."</p>
<p>Felix drew his sword. "I'll be quicker than the Goddess."</p>
<p>"No!" Claude retorted sharply. "She said to wait. So we wait."</p>
<p>Felix didn't sheath his sword, but he didn't charge. "He'll kill her." His tone was filled with dread. "He doesn't care anymore. He will kill her."</p>
<p>Claude swallowed hard as Dimitri headbutted Byleth. Her nose erupted in blood and she staggered back. He stiffened his arm as tightly as he could to keep from loosing. "I'll kill him first. This was supposed to be my suicide mission." When they had heard of movements from the remnants of the Kingdom army, they had prepared for the possibility of seeing a dead man. The spite that he had been left with had seemed too powerful to have died by a headsman's ax. <em> But she conceded this to me last night. I practically begged her not to-- </em></p>
<p>"Suicide?" Marianne gasped. "Claude, this isn't --"</p>
<p>"Another scheme?!" Felix growled. "He can't be saved. I learned that a long time ago."</p>
<p>Dimitri sliced at Byleth's chest once again, only barely grazing the air. She grabbed the lance handle with one hand and yanked him forward as blood ran down her lips.</p>
<p>"He's savage," Marianne said, nearly choking, as she folded her hands together. They started to form a faint glow and the flow of blood from Byleth was staunched. "I never believed he'd be capable of this... "</p>
<p>Dimitri reared his head back once again when she was close, but a twist of the lance gave her a chance to plant her shoulder into his torso. Her sword abandoned, she grabbed the lance and yanked again, but not enough to free it. She put her knee into his groin and his expression turned into a snarl. "She's a mercenary," Claude said, adjusting his shot. "She's savage, too."</p>
<p>His grasp on the lance became her means of shoving him where she wanted him, and finally, he wrenched it out of her hands and threw it to the side. A mail-clad hand barreled towards her, which she grabbed with both of hers and swung him around. She planted a foot in his chest and forced him to the ground. She kicked him in the side and then straddled his body, punching him in the face over and over again until he began to bleed as well.</p>
<p>A dagger appeared from his side and he moved to plunge it into hers. Somehow, she grabbed the blade and twisted the knife, blood streaming from her palm.</p>
<p>"Byleth!" Marianne scolded and she folded her hands again, beads of sweat forming on her brow. The distance was taking a toll on her.</p>
<p>With her grip on the blade, Byleth bent Dimitri's wrist back. Claude heard a popping that made Dimitri howl. <em> A wounded animal. Perhaps she may have the luxury of this haunting her dreams yet. </em></p>
<p>That arm dropped, but the other went for her throat. It clasped around her windpipe as she reached for his mouth with her bloody hand. The other grabbed at her sword belt.</p>
<p>He sunk his teeth into her hand, and only then did she finally cry out in pain. But it didn't stop her grabbing the vial out of her belt and popping the cork open. She pried his jaw open and poured the purple liquid down his throat.</p>
<p>He gagged for a while as his grip loosened on her throat, and finally, his body went slack. Byleth pressed her good hand to the side of his neck, checking for signs of life. "It worked!" she choked out. She got off of his unconscious body and flipped him on his back.</p>
<p>Finally, Claude lowered Failnaught and grabbed the ropes from his saddlebag. "Come on, you two are the escape route!" He called to Felix and Marianne as he ran to Byleth's side.</p>
<p>Claude made quick work of binding Dimitri's hands and feet. Felix helped him throw him onto Marianne's horse and tie him down. When Byleth made it to her feet, she raised a bloody hand in Dedue's direction. "Dedue! Do not be as foolish as your liege lord!"</p>
<p>Dedue narrowed his eyes at the scene. Raphael and Leonie halted their attack as Hilda hovered overhead. After a moment that felt like an eternity, he dropped his ax.</p>
<p>Byleth turned to Marianne and her charge. "Get to Manuela. Keep him alive." She nodded and dug her heels into the side of her steed. Felix followed swiftly after her.</p>
<p>Claude pulled a Concoction out of his belt and pressed it to Byleth's lips. She drank it greedily, putting a hand over his. It made his hand tingle, even though the glove kept her breath and skin from touching him. "Let's get out of here," he said, finally catching his breath. "We can assess the situation from the sky and you can rest." He retrieved her sword from the ground and sheathed it for her, hand grazing over her hip.</p>
<p>He helped her climb onto the wyvern's back. Her hands wrapped around his waist, and he held them there with one of his as he reigned the wyvern to take flight. Only when they were above the chaos did he manage to say, "Don't do that again. I'm meant to fight by your side. Please... don't ask me to do that ever again." He blinked back the prickling in his eyes.</p>
<p>Her nose brushed the back of his neck. It sent goose pimples down his arms. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "But I couldn't see you fight him."</p>
<p>He leaned back into her and closed his eyes for a moment to let his heart settle, to convince himself that she was in fact alive. "I was ready to kill him," he argued.</p>
<p>"No, you weren't," she said into his skin. "Neither was I."</p>
<p>Somehow, that gave him the courage to open his eyes. "Right. There's still work to do."</p><hr/>
<p>Claude had never been so happy to see so many of his former classmates in chains. Chains meant that he and Byleth could go to them one by one and accept their surrender, and, hopefully, their pledge to join their cause.</p>
<p>Bernadetta, Caspar, Lindhart, were easy to sway. They were happy to have the Byleth and their other classmates who joined Golden Deer previously back by their side. Ingrid was harder to sway -- claiming her honor required her to wait to follow Dimitri's lead. Byleth put Felix and Sylvain in charge of her. "They'll convince her," she said.</p>
<p>Dedue was another question entirely.</p>
<p>They brought Dedue into the main pavilion later that evening, seated at long tables with his former classmates as if nothing had changed -- nothing besides the chains, that was. Claude and Byleth had been so busy tended to wounded and handling prisoners that they were still stained with blood and mud.</p>
<p>Claude should have insisted that she rest. He should have made sure that she had something to eat or time to wash herself before she stood in front of her graduated class, but he feared if he let them stop, just for a moment, they wouldn't start again. A fire that's dwindled to ashes is hard to rekindle again. A dying flame only smokes until it suffocates itself.</p>
<p>The pavilion quieted when she and Claude entered. Not as if it became silent, but as if the nervous energy had given way to relief. Their dear professor was alive. Without ceremony, she strode to the front rested her hands on her hips. He'd have rather she rested on him, but instead, he found himself standing by Lorenz's seat. Lorenz's hair was ruffled, but beyond that, he was intact. He gave a concerned look to Claude before turning back to Byleth.</p>
<p>"Today was a hard day," Byleth began, clear and powerful, but a bit of weariness at the edges. "Comrades lost on both sides. Classmates pit against classmates, friends against friends." She took a beat, a deep breath that filled her chest. "I both relieved and saddened by who we are still able to count among the living today." Another beat, another breath. "Dimitri is being held in slumber for the time being. It took considerable effort to subdue him physically and I fear convincing him mentally to join forces will be an even more arduous battle. But I know it is the right one. The Dimitri I know would have never wanted it to come to this."</p>
<p>Her gaze went to Dedue, who was flanked by Mercedes and Felix. "It's not fair of me to put you on the spot like this. It's not right to try and use the bonds you formed at school to pressure you. But you know that Dimitri deserves a seat at this table as much as anyone else and to share in the only comfort to be found on the battlefield. And he would never join us in his current state unless it was to mow us all down."</p>
<p>Dedue's cool stare did not waver from hers. "It is not my place to decide the affairs of the Kingdom. I have no authority to form alliances or dictate policy." Then, his eyes drifted down to his shackles. "I do believe your assessment to be correct, however. His strength and fury would not stop him from becoming a one-man bringer of tragedy, and therefore, he would become his own worst nightmare." He looked back at her. "That, I cannot in good conscience allow. To that end, I can only offer myself and my own pledge to assist in his highness's rehabilitation. When his highness regains himself, I can make no promises as to what side of the war I will be on."</p>
<p>Mercedes clasped his forearm and beamed. Felix snorted. "Based on the boar's current state the war may be long over by then."</p>
<p>The smallest crack of a smile formed on Dedue's face. "I hope you are correct. I want him to come back to a country at peace."</p>
<p>The smile infected Claude as well. "I can't quite promise everyone holding hands and singing songs, but I do believe we will stop actively trying to kill each other."</p>
<p>With that, Byleth was able to approach Dedue with the key to his shackles and Claude heard the most joyous <em>click</em> he'd heard in a long time.</p>
<p>On the other side of the hall, Sylvain nudged Ingrid. "Come on, doesn't it inspire you to surrender?"</p>
<p>Ingrid wrinkled her nose. "I cannot in good conscious fight for the Alliance when my family's own lands are in danger."</p>
<p>Sylvain scoffed. "'Retreat' is also a valid currency in the Alliance."</p>
<p>Ignatz stood from his seat. "Now that that's settled, I think the Professor and Claude could use something to eat. I'll be right back!"</p>
<p>As he slipped from his seat, Byleth called, "Not your teacher anymore!"</p>
<p>Hilda rolled her eyes. "Successor to the Archbishop, Master Tactician of the Rebellion, yada yada yada. It's just easier to call you 'Professor' and use it as an informal term." She cast a look at Dedue. "Though I have to say, big guy, I think I learned a thing from you about how to swing an ax."</p>
<p>The smallest chuckle escaped Dedue. "I did as well. I made the mistake of assuming someone who claimed to be delicate actually was."</p>
<p>The banter began to ripple through the pavilion.. Byleth's eyes shimmered and he felt soon, they'd give way. Claude approached her and put a hand on her back. To the room, he said, "Well be back shortly. Clearly, neither of us are decent for dinner."</p>
<p>Wordlessly, she walked with him until they found the river. Her tent was north of it, but it didn't seem to be on her mind, only tearing the tatters of her coat off of her shoulders. She shoved it in the river and began scrubbing it. The water had been clouded with dirt from the chaos of the battle, but the red running through it was obvious.</p>
<p>Claude opened his mouth to say something. He needed a quip about how she had to have an extra coat, but she quickly abandoned that task and started working at her hands. Scrubbing, scrubbing, the icy water splashed on her without her notice. "Byleth," he called, but she only began scrubbing her arms. And then he heard it, her breath hitch. Not the gasp of chilled water, but the precursor of being snuffed out. She was choking on her own smoke.</p>
<p>He knelt next to her. "My friend, please," he croaked.</p>
<p>Water droplets speckled her cheeks but they couldn't mask the tear streaks. Those had a weight to them that drew lines through the dirt on her face. She wouldn't look up at him. "Please, what?" she half-whispered. "Tell me. I don't know what to do."</p>
<p>He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest as if it would staunch his own bleeding heart. As if he held her tightly enough she wouldn't fall into another pit. "Please don't go. Don't go somewhere I can't follow you, and I can't go to the place where you hate yourself."</p>
<p>She was rigid against him for a moment and then she began to shiver. The cold was getting to her. "It's okay. I will be able to go on. I just..." Her voice was even dying out.</p>
<p>His other hand wound into her hair and clutched it for dear life. "There hasn't been a good option. There's only been 'bad' and 'worse'. You can take a break."</p>
<p>Her hands found his chest and dug into his tunic. Dripping wet, freezing cold, and tight as iron was her grip. Her shoulders heaved.</p>
<p>He pressed his cheek against the top of her head. "It's been a long five years. I could use a moment as well." A tear, unbidden, rolled down his cheek. Once it touched her hair, an audible sob escaped her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>They stayed like that for a while, knelt by the river, muffled cries afforded space and averted eyes as if waiting for the smoke to clear. Their meals kept warm, their clothes laid out for them in their tents, everything else waited. No one at the once-was field of Gronder was eager to disturb their leader and their master tactician. Tomorrow brought only another day and another enemy to face. Tomorrow, more would be asked of them, same horror, different day.</p>
<p>It all could wait, because that night, they needed to rest.</p>
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